SIEM and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

By Johnny Xmas

Elevator Pitch

A really fun presentation comparing my lessons learned from motorcycle ownership and how they directly relate to SIEM ownership. The goal is to hopefully finally convey information in a way that SIEM owners will finally understand, and implement.

Description

The Art of Proper SIEM and Motorcycle Ownership

Join me, an infamous local SIEM and motorcycle destroyer, as I walk you through the dos and don’ts of SIEM and motorcycle ownership!

A Word of Caution

NOTE: This talk will contain zero information that you have not heard many, many times before. For some reason, however, I see all of it being violated in the most egregious ways at company after company after company.

This has led me to believe that the industry has either:

  • Never received all of the information all at once, or
  • Not been given the information in a manner that didn’t immediately induce a deep and lengthy coma (probably the latter).

The Thousand-Foot View

As such, I will be attempting to convey the thousand-foot view of how to (or not to) choose, stand up, and manage a SIEM by wrapping it in thinly veiled metaphors derived from my hobby: propelling myself over (and sometimes at) asphalt at extremely high velocities.

Get ready for an enlightening journey through the world of SIEMs and motorcycles!